CONTENT WARNINGS: drug mention

Man I'm losing time like its nothing. fuck.

I don't have much to update on im still just barely living life and scratching around for reasons to keep going besides just this website. Not the greatest intro into this but it's the most accurate to my mental state at the moment. So i've been trying to find other ways to busy myself without just getting high and dissociating. And in my desperate attempt to busy myself with anything i remade this whole blog thing.

I'm starting to get a grasp at what I want with this, my current plans with this is to have it as an outlet for when my head is getting too fucking loud and I just need to pour it somewhere without bothering anyone or having to try and reach out to someone, Fuck that. So this is just some fucking thing so I can ramble and talk, I might post more than one thing here or go quiet for months I dunno what'll happen.

I'm really self concious about my writing and I want to get better and articulating my thoughts properly, so maybe this can be something for practice. I dunno i'm kind of throwing shit at the wall and hoping something sticks. Just wish I could speak my mind better but I'm so fucking pissed that everyone can speak and write so intricately and have such intricate thoughts but I'm so fucking stupid that I can't get to their level of writing let alone talking. I'm more just pissed that im a fucking moron haha.

Seems like most of the things I have to say is just negative, i'm trying my best to have a better outlook on life but damn it's really fucking hard. it's not impossible it's just a pain in my ass to have to deal with being mentally haunted all the fucking time.

Anyways this month went by so fast, its my "birthday month", the dreaded date is coming up real soon and im really not looking forward to it, Wish i could dissociate my way out of this whole fucking months but whatever. On a better note I got myself a 3ds as an early birthday present since i've been needing something good in my life during this time in my life.

Speaking of this 3ds i've been preparing for this for a few months, its a black nintendo 3ds xl I got from ebay and its in such prime fucking condition I genuinely expected this to be right out of the box. As of writing this I'm waiting for my SD card adapter to arrive so i can mod the shit outta this guy.

Otherwise uh theres nothing really going on as usual, kind of bumping along with existing and seeing where being alive takes me, thanks to everyone stopping by to my website, i'm not entirely sure how many people come and take a look at this but if you are one of the very few who do, thanks for stopping by I really aprpeciate it. It's nice knowing that even if I don't have much worth that atleast the things I create and make are atleast somewhat cool.